You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
