why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
