dude i'm inner monologue high
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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