1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
