my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
