what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
