seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
