It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
