Whod you bang
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
