We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
