Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
