Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
