Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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