you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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