We're facebook friends in real life
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
