I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She announced her abortion via fbk
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
