uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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