Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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