she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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