She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
