She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
