everyone is single if you try hard enough
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We are two peas in an std pod
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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