You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
