I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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