My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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