oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
