This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
