You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
