Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
