I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
