but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
