Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
