I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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