she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
