if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
