Small penises have feelings too.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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