I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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