I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
