All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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