I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
