so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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