I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
