She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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