I don't remember. Are we still dating?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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