I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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