I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
