i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
