carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
