Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
