Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up

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(609): View more from New Jersey

She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.

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(512): View more from Texas

I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.

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(419): View more from Ohio

when I sang my humps to you I meant it.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?

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(917): View more from New York City

But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.

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(407): View more from Florida

Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.

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(512): View more from Texas

just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people

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